Yeah, What She Said...

Here.

Still Here

Sorry for the lack of posts, and the even longer lack of good posts, but the Guardians have been busy politicking. Janet's helping on an election and I'm running for a different one. There's a lot to talk about, and some great stories, but operational security prevents their telling just yet.

Jack

Here I am, Cleaning Sh*t off of Practically Everything

Kurt Vonnegut said his stories had two themes, which he got from his siblings. His sister died from cancer; her last words were, "no pain." From his brother, with a baby in diapers, Kurt got "Here I am, cleaning sh*t off of practically everything." (From the intoduction of "Welcome to the Monkey House," an excellent collection of short stories.

Sounds a lot like our jobs, eh?

Paraphilia Phriday 10.1

When it rains it pours...

TSG has an FBI obscenity complaint that covers a few more paraphilia:
coprophilia (from the greek kopros, excrement)
urolagnia (from the greek ouron, urine; and the greek lagneia, intercourse)
emetophilia (from the greek emetos, vomiting)
bukkake (from the Japanese verb bukkakeru, to splash)
fisting (from anglo-saxon, fyst)

George Grosz needs to come back from the dead and do a painting for this. He was a brilliant and utterly uncompromising critic of Weimar culture and politics. He's needed now, too. Perhaps a photo, split between an immaculate and stylish office where the distributor of these DVDs does business and the (literal) sh*thole where these movies are made.

But wait! There's more!:

Santa Barbara County sheriff's deputies come across a bizarre encounter at La Purisima Mission in Lompoc.
Around midnight they found a 69-year-old Huntington beach man naked and covered in oats.
Deputies say the man had covered himself in olive oil, rolled around in oats and allowed the horses at the mission to lick him clean.
He apparently told deputies this has always been a fantasy of his and drove up from the Los Angeles area to play it out.
Alfred Thomas Steven was cited and released for trespassing, animal cruelty and sexually assaulting an animal.

Jack

Paraphilia Phriday 10

Today's news starts out like a stalker story.

Emo boy

(the comedian, not the fashion) longs for a pretty girl.
He's seen her picture in the newspaper.
He finds out where she lives,
enlists his friend Shaggy

and his (Emo's) brother Doogie

to help,
and the three head on over to the girl's place.
He also makes sure he's prepared,
bringing shovels and condoms.

Condoms? Isn't that a bit presumptuous?
And scary?

Shovels? Hunh?

Yes, shovels. You see, the picture was from her OBITUARY:

They had gotten down to the concrete vault by the time the police,
responding to a 'suspicious vehicle' call at the cemetery, arrived.

Yes, this week's word is Necrophilia.

Rosman and Resnick (1989) theorized that either of the following situations could be antecedents to necrophilia (pp. 161): ... He (usually male) is very fearful of rejection by women and he desires a sexual object who is incapable of rejecting him...

So he wasn't being the least bit presumptuous.
But definitely scary.

Full story at The Smoking Gun.

Today's Pop Culture reference has been sponsored by the Hoodoo Gurus.

Jack

Good Weekend on the Campaign Trail

We were in a parade over the weekend. I cant' go into much detail, but here's how it felt:

Those who can learn from history are sometimes blessed to repeat it.

Something nice to whoever IDs the allusion.

Jack