At Least He's a Kook with A-List Aspirations

John Karr, most recently of not-the-killer-of-Jon-Benet-Ramsey fame, is now colluding with Johnny Depp to further wreck a fond childhood memory: Willy Wonka.

Gene Wilder doesn't like it, either.

Karr has a plan for a movie of himself based on a manuscript by himself, starring Johnny Depp as himself, to use Depp's Willy Wonka as a model. Karr would have some constructive criticism for Mr. Depp, though:

Willy Wonka is "very similar to my personality except for the fact that Willy Wonka did not know how to treat children, he had no knowledge of how to be around children."

Which just goes to show that no matter how badly an actor can butcher a character, somebody can always do you one better. Thanks, guys.

Now, where should the Oompa-Loompas take Mr. Karr/Depp and what should they do with him when they get there?

Jack

Life Lessons

1. If you're playing with a sex toy and it gets stuck, you will only increase your embarassment by explaining to the police that what REALLY happened was that a couple of Samoans beat, garrotted and drugged you and you just woke up that way.

2. Saying you were "pretty much drunk" may explain a one-night stand, but it doesn't explain a one-night stand with a corpse.

3. Never, never insist that the police take your DNA.

Jack

Conspiracy of Pluto

It was decided today that Pluto will no longer be considered a planet. I personally feel it was a conspiracy by the editors of school books. How many grade school science books will now have to be reprinted? I personally will miss Pluto. Goodbye icy friend
janet

politics

I'm still involved in the politic scene but honestly will be glad when the circuit judge district judge and all other judge races are decided. the back door politics is amazing. I went out to play a game of pool the other night and the owner of the bar ended up being a major party oppertive luckily the right party or i could have been in the wrong place. just a couple of months and all will be done
janet