lightening up a bit

a palliative for murder, death, and funerals:

baby bunnies.

jack

2 1/2 funerals

This week has not been a good one. Two members of our staff have lost love ones this past week. Neither one expected, but neither one was in excellent health. We had a funeral two days in a row. A segment of the office was at each, I was at both since I am closer to the two individuals. Both funerals were nice and more of a homecoming than a morning. Over the last two days I have spend over 5 hours in funerals. They were long. I came home on Saturday after missing a wedding because the funeral lasting three house and decided to go check on my neighbor who has been battling cancer to see if they needed anything from the store. I walked in and didn't recognize my neighbor ( who just a week ago was telling my other neighbor that when she felt better she would baby sit). She was laying in pain wth her eyes closed in pain. She could only make a couple of words out that she was in pain. The doctor came back with the test this weekend that the cancer has spread throughout her body. She's no longer eating and they've uped the morphine to try and stop the pain. Neighbors used to have block parties and know everyone on the block. I've never lived in that type of neighborhood, untill I bought this house. My neighbor the day I moved in brought over an angel food cake with strawberries and introduced herself and her husband. She was retired and her husband was a musician. They know everything about my house, I'm only the second owner of a 1947 house. She told me about the whole street who does what, who keeps their yard up, who is quiet. She is also the best alarm system any neighbor could have nothing happens at my house that wasn't reported to me once arriving home. We have spent hours on the front stoops of our houses discussing flowers, the weather, my latest case, my latest love, and she was always up to helping with my latest halloween costume idea from Marilyn Monroe to any other idea that I could come up with. I could barelly keep the tears back as I looked at her, the shell of where my friend had once been. Her husband took her to the bathroom as i went into the kitchen to compose myself determined not to break down. Not there, not then. Her husband is in autopilot. He is still as loving and caring as ever. I stayed for about thirty minutes talking to her but not knowing if she heard anything I said. I left the house to walk back across the street to my home. I didn't hit the street before tears flowed down my face. My heart hurts.
Janet

post trial 2

my jury was tampered with and juror misconduct occured. I'm so not happy. A request for new trial will follow. Janet

Mean DA's

We deal with people of all types of personalities in the district attorney's office. Every once in a while you come across some curmugeon that's just a jerk to everyone. I almost prefer that. I would rather deal with that person who treats everyone with contempt than the prosecutor who tries to bully the new attorney because they think they can get away with it. In the past, I've had prosecutors assigned to work against me that came with a reputation a mile wide. I don't normally have a problem with them. After I explain to them that they need to ask around about my reputation I usually have smooth sailing. Now granted I am very professional when dealing with negotiations or conversing about a case. I have the scourge of the court house on a docket tomorrow and although for the beginning of the week she played her normal personality mainly not returning phone calls she turned a new leaf yesterday. I had mentioned to enough people in her office that had seniority that I was doing the docket and just couldn't understand why she hadn't returned my call. Within an hour she had called twice. I don't like bullies. Tomorrow should be fun.
janet

post trial

well my murder has come and gone. It was a hard weekend. The jury was out for about 3 hours before they came back with a guilty on murder in the first degree. While I was in trial I was assigned my next murder in the first degree case. I'm tired. I'm now back up to four of them besides my normal docket. more later janet

Western Union

I always wanted to recieve a telegram. I saw them sent in movies and retrospectives that people from the oval office to Hollywood getting news or congratulations. I even sent one once. I sent my mom a telegram for mother's day. Thought that it would be different than just the normal card in the mail. But after decades of sending telegrams, Western Union is done. They will still be in business with money transfers but in the age of cell phones, email, and intstant messages the telegram had become obsolete. I'm saddened.
Janet

Paraphilia Phriday 9

This week's paraphilia is dedicated to an MSN search that led here.
I'm not a big fan of this paraphilia because its word isn't very evocative.

Telephone Scatalogia

It's not that it's not greek, because its all greek:
tele (far off) phono (sound) scat (dung) logo (word)

it's just so...quotidian, and besides, scatologia is OK for calling somebody a pottymouth, but it's not very specific.

maybe ben-chikan, or speech-groping
or telephonobiastophilia, or far off aural forced violation

This guy's telephone scataologia was quotidian and then some - 1800 of them, to 911 call operators.

Jack

Satire or News?

The Onion has this news brief on a new rating system the MPAA has developed:

Working with evangelical Christian organizations such as Focus on the Family, the Motion Picture Association of America has developed a movie-rating system based on the laws of the Old Testament. "There was some concern that our existing system was neither strict nor specific enought," MPAA President Dan Glickman said. "Hence, such improved ratings as B-M21 [Blasphemy Only To Be Viewed By Males Over 21] for Finding Nemo, as it was only given to Adam to name the animals." The new ratings system will be instituted around Easter, at which time all producers of movies formerly rated NC-17 will be burned at the stake, their fields sown with salt, and their names cursed unto the ninth generation.

But the "CAP Movie Ministry," a "Ministry of the ChildCare Action Project (CAP): Christian Analysis of American Culture Ministry" beat them to it. From the "Offense to God" portion of the Chrinicles of Narnia review:

-half man, half goat character
-characters of flame dancing in fire
-magic to enter another world
-magic to make hot drink and cakes
-enticement of a child by evil
-many characters "frozen" (killed) by witch, repeatedly, then some resurrected
-magic potion to heal, repeatedly
-half man, half horse
-many other mythological creatures such as a man with a goat's head as characters
-speaking character of wisdom created from the petals of tree flowers (Gaiaism?), twice
-many demon-like characters
-demon revelry

And don't even mention this news item from the Onion:
"President Creates Cabinet-Level Position To Coordinate Scandals"

Jack

It Must Have Sounded Like a Good Idea at the Time

Eyebrow tattoos.
here
and
here.

Geek aside: scalp tattoos as an early form of steganography.