1. If you're playing with a sex toy and it gets stuck
, you will only increase your embarassment by explaining to the police that what REALLY happened was that a couple of Samoans beat, garrotted and drugged you and you just woke up that way.
2. Saying you were "pretty much drunk
" may explain a one-night stand, but it doesn't explain a one-night stand with a corpse.
3. Never, never insist
that the police take your DNA.