The War on Terror is Over!
Maybe there needs to be a "Porn Threat Advisory" like Homeland Security's.
GREEN/LOW - Burqa time!
BLUE/GUARDED - Great Scott! Ankles and wrists exposed! For shame!
YELLOW/ELEVATED - Son, we don't take kindly to Sears Catalogue smugglers around here...
ORANGE/HIGH - Sir, I hope you have a Section 1421(d) researcher's permit to possess these unedited copies of historical National Geographic Magazines. (Irony alert: possibly NSFW)
RED/SEVERE - Rape! Rape and dismemberment! Incest! Genital mutilation followed by murder, pillage and rape! Offering virgin daughters to be raped! Pornographic poetry!
I wonder what a "Porn Threat" preparedness kit would have inside?