Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Folk Tales for the Urban Age, or Every Lucky Streak Must End

There's a folk tale about good and bad news involving an airplane flight (good) where the plane breaks down (bad) but the flyer has a parachute (good) that doesn't work (bad) but he's falling onto a haystack (good) with a pitchfork in it (bad) but he misses the pitchfork (good) but misses the haystack too (bad).

Here's the newer, hipper, urban version:
Dumb and Dumber are divvying up some marijuana outside a business and another customer sees what they're doing.
That's bad.
No, That's good. The guy just tells them they need to take that stuff away from there.
That's good.
No, That's bad. Dumb and Dumber start swearing at the guy and threatening him.
That's bad.
No, that's good. The guy's an off-duty COP and isn't threatened, he just tells Dumb and Dumber that he's a cop and they need to get that stuff out of there.
That's good.
No, That's bad. Dumb and Dumber tell him he's a lyin' a$$ bit©# and continue to threaten him.
That's bad.
No, that's good. The cop shows them his badge, and tells Dumb and Dumber again to leave; Dumb and Dumber get in their car and start to pull away.
That's good.
No, that's bad. Dumb pulls out a pistol, hangs out the window and points it at the cop.
That's bad.
No, that's good. The cop pulls out his gun and points it at Dumb; Dumb gets back in the car and cowers on the floorboard.
That's good.
No, that's bad. Dumber takes the gun, stops the car, and walks up to the cop, pointing the pistol at the cop. The cop shoots Dumber. Twice.
That's bad.
No, that's good. Dumber lives.
That's good.
No, that's bad. Dumb and Dumber pick up charges for the pointing and the drugs.
That's bad.
No, that's good. Dumb and Dumber don't have records, so they're only looking at 2-20 years, maximum.
That's good.
No, that's bad. They didn't want their plea bargain, so they're going to trial, where they'll get maxed out.
That's bad.
No, that's good, becasue they aren't dead. Darwin must have been on his coffee break that evening.

Jack

1 Comments:

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12/12/2009 1:37 AM  

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